Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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