i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
