I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
