OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
