I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
