you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
