ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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