There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
