He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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