Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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