what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize