I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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