do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
