You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
