so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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