I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize