I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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