all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
A bitchslap is in order.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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