If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
