I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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