you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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