Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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