Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
