Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
