FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize