People with herpes should wear stickers.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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