I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
