There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
