Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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