no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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