Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
