very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize