Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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