...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
