I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
