All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
