Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
We need a shit load of segways right now
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
