Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
