Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
