we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
