I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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