i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My feet surprised me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
