is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
