somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize