A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
