she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
