I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
