some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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