I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Randomize
