How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
the condom got lost in my hair
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it was like having sex with a tree stump
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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