i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
