I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
