Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
this boner is exhausting
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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