I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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