I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
