Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
