she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
