JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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