I look better un-naked...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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