stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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